Scorpio 24 Oct – 22 Nov
Today you may fall off your metaphorical horse and need to get right back on it. Remember life is a trot and not a gallop. A man who stutters will come into your life and will give you some information that will change everything. Also, a problem may seem unsurmountable, but do not suffer in silence, and reach out for help. Use your insomnia to get some things done.
Sagittarius 23 Nov – 21 Dec
A person you didn’t really rate will shock you when you learn some new things about them. It’s time to drop your bravado and show your magnificent, true colours. You tend to put yourself down too much as your contribution to life has been immense, and more importantly, you have a lot of love in your life. But stop telling porkies and being a lustful pig. Shower!
Capricorn 22 Dec – 20 Jan
An old virgin may impregnate your narrow mind with some wonderful new ideas this month. Consider taking on a new challenge. It is time to stop throwing your cap at every attractive person who comes along and have more self-respect. Someone who talks like a machine gun will annoy you, but do you no harm. Remember that the world is your welk.
Aquarius 21 Jan – 19 Feb
Trot into town and make a pig of yourself as you deserve a treat. You will be excited by someone with ginger hair, which is okay, as bit of ginger does you good. Someone will claim to have all the answers, but remember that no one really knows why we are here. It is also time to realise that no one really cares about your sexuality, so, what is there to be proud of?
Pisces 20 Feb – 20 Mar
Wrinkles have begun to appear around your eyes, but at least you’re not in a war zone. You also may feel under a lot of pressure at the moment, but don’t lose your temper and boil over as nothing is that important. A financial windfall is coming your way and you will finally be able to settle your debts and plan for the future. Love will come out-of-the-blue soon. Wait.
Aries 21 Mar – 20 Apr
Be patient with a loved one as they need time to untangle a mess they are in. You may fancy a bit of toffee but do you fancy paying for a new filling? You know you have a masterpiece in you, but are you going to do anything about it this month? A hospitalised friend needs your support this week so don’t let them down as they have never let you down. Smile more often.
Taurus 21 Apr – 21 May
An individual who is mad about northern soul, will dance into your life and give you some free, important lessons. Take down the walls that people can barely see over and let people come in, and enrich, your life. Also stop being the joker as love is a serious matter and no laughing matter. Good news will cheer you up and make you walk with a spring in your step.
Gemini 22 May – 21 Jun
Wear your best knickers tonight in case you need to impress your date tonight – even if you’re not sure of your sexuality. Watch what you’re doing as you need to be eating porridge and not doing it. The status quo doesn’t really rock your world but just do your own thing and chip away at things you think are wrong. A holy man will unexpectantly bear his soul to you.
Cancer 22 Jun – 23 Jul
This month, be careful how you try to lose weight and maybe choose a more natural way. You will come across someone who is extremely rude and obnoxious, but make allowances as they are hurting. You may hate your neighbour’s nocturnal noise, but have you forgotten what it’s like to be young? Stop thinking you are aristocracy as we’re really only paupers.
Leo 24 Jul – 23 Aug
You need more champagne-moments in your life as you have worked very hard for little reward. But don’t worry as good times lie ahead for you. However, be very careful as a so-called friend will do something that causes you problems. Happily, A tiny woman will bring some magic into your world and you will realise that size is not everything. Eat brown bread.
Virgo 24 Aug – 23 Sep
Love will barge into your life and change your whole outlook. It is time also to acknowledge that you don’t just have to just waltz through everything. You’ll be shocked to learn how hard a friend’s life really is, so, do what you can to help them. Maybe try and trump someone who thinks they hold all the aces. Keep on pushing that rock up the mountain as that’s how it is.
Libra 24 Sep – 23 Oct
Love can indeed make your life – or leave you in tatters, so, be careful with it. It is written in the stars that you will eventually be rewarded for all your hard work. It is a good time to buy some stilts if you fancy looking down on everyone for a short while. Now is maybe the time to consider booking a skiing holiday if you want something to look forward to in winter.