July 2017

NEW POETRY COMPETITION
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1st Prize is £100, 2nd Prize is £50 and 3rd Prize is £25.You can submit up to three poems per person on any theme.
Full Details on this pageClosing date is midnight (GMT) on August 31st, 2017.Please note YOU MUST join the magazine (free) via sign-up form at: www.deancharltonmag.com to enter the competition. Please follow us or like us on Social Media if you are already a subscriber:Twitter @deancharltonmag
Facebook /DeanCharltonMagPlease tell us which of these you have done when you submit your entry by email at: deancharltonmag@gmail.com

MY NOT VERY SERIOUS STARS

Scorpio 24 Oct – 22 Nov

It is a good time to start eating more fish fingers. A woman with glasses will be nice to you but don’t trust her as she only means you harm. The colour orange will be significant to you this month. Why not think of booking a well-deserved holiday?

Sagittarius 23 Nov – 21 Dec

Someone will offer you something you badly need but do weigh up the possible consequences if you accept it. You may develop an interest in old films which will lead you to see things in a new light and meet new, interesting people.

Capricorn 22 Dec – 20 Jan

You may be haunted by a deceased family member at some point this month, but the experience will not frighten you but leave you ecstatic. A man with lots of money will try and win your affections but be careful as his intensions are not honourable.

Aquarius 21 Jan – 19 Feb

It is time you started to use your time on the toilet more profitably. Attending a ceilidh may be a good idea and allow you to let your hair down. Your shopping bills have been ridiculous recently so look for a new place to shop. Try to ignore that old man who keeps bugging you.

Pisces 20 Feb – 20 Mar

This month you will realise how much your partner actually does for you and act accordingly. A friend you badly need will come into your life, but don’t be put off, if they are not very physically attractive. Buy some home-grown apples.

Aries 21 Mar – 20 Apr

A stranger will show you a side of life you have not experienced before. It is a good time to consider whether you should continue to wear animal products. Also consider giving a small amount of money to a cause near to your heart.

Taurus 21 Apr – 21 May

A rich woman with bad breath may make a pass at you so be on your guard – unless you love foul breath of course. Unexpected romance may come your way this month and you may find yourself dashing to those machines in the pub toilets.

Gemini 22 May – 21 Jun

You must start taking things easier as you are no use to anyone if you are in a permanent state of exhaustion. Be more patient with someone at work who is not as gifted as you. A fox may start visiting your garden in the evening and stun you with its beauty. Think twice before you start an affair with someone you also work with.

Cancer 22 Jun – 23 Jul

An attractive person may sweep you off of your feet this month, but do remember who your real friends are, for they will always be there for you through thick and thin. You must pay more attention to mundane things otherwise bad things will happen to you.

Leo 24 Jul – 23 Aug

A neighbour may prove to be a godsend this month and show you great kindness. A well-meaning friend may suggest you shower more often but don’t be offended as you do smell. You must also start shaving more especially if you’re a woman.

Virgo 24 Aug – 23 Sep

You are tempted to buy an expensive car to impress the opposite sex – but do you really want to attract people who are impressed by material possessions? A pregnant woman may verbally abuse you but do make allowances. You are quite obese so maybe take some steps to becoming slimmer.

Libra 24 Sep – 23 Oct

This month you may come to the conclusion that IVF is the possible answer to your problems – but always leave room for disappointment. It is a good time to start eating free range eggs. A deaf person may teach you a few new tricks that will enable you to make some easy money.

ROBERT WILLIAMS INTERVIEWS DEAN CHARLTON

How long have you been involved with ‘From The Horse’s Mouth’ and what made you create the online magazine? I did the magazine as a paper copy over twenty years ago but printing costs made it impossible to continue. I created this e-magazine to create a platform on which I and other people could express themselves.

How long has the present magazine been running this time? This is the thirty-first edition which means it has been running for just over two and a half years.

How do you see the magazine evolving in the future? I’m hoping to continue getting more subscribers and readers and at some time introduce paid advertising and maybe a main sponsor. I am quite happy with how things are going and I understand that anything of real value takes time to develop.

Have you had much feedback from readers? Yes and it’s been positive although one person thinks I should do away with ‘ My Not Very Serious Stars’ section – but this is not most people’s view.

Outside the magazine, what do you do with your time? I spend a lot of time with my close friend Brenda Condoll and we do a lot of things together e.g. walking and socialising in cafes. I’m hoping to go back to writing songs though I’m not much of a musician. On the website (www.deancharltonmag.com) there are two free albums that I made with friends some years ago.

Do you like music? I don’t actively listen to music at the moment, but I am exposed to it when I’m out and about – so I have an idea what’s going on.

So you like writing lyrics? When I wrote the albums I wrote the words, melodies and chord structures and then Darren Harper arranged the songs for me.

How long does it take to do an album? They were done very quickly as studios fees are not cheap. A lot of the songs were written over twenty years ago, but as I’ve been ill a lot, they were something I went back to when I was in a better place.

Who influenced your songs? The Beatles from a melodic point of view, but no-one lyrically e.g. the song ‘From The Horse’s Mouth’ is about not wanting to exploit other people and not getting rich on the back of the others. I wouldn’t want to be rich if I felt I had ripped off anyone.

What do you think about Brexit? I’d rather not comment.

It seems like ethics are very important to you. Do you have any religious or spiritual beliefs? I don’t follow an organised religion but I hope there is something after this life to give this life some sort of meaning. I don’t profess to have any answers.

Do you believe there is a God? At the moment, I don’t think there is a supernatural being orchestrating everything. I hope there is something but I don’t really know.

Do you believe in reincarnation? I don’t know.

Have you always lived in Halifax? I have lived here for just over ten years. I feel very comfortable here. Before that I lived in supported housing (St. Anne’s) in Leeds which was for people with either mental health problems, learning difficulties or with a drink problem – or a combination of all three things. St. Anne’s gave me a home in a group house in Leeds when I was officially homeless in a mental hospital called High Royds. I will always be grateful to St. Anne’s.

How long were you homeless for? I never slept outside (except when drunk!) but I lived in a homeless hostel, in Leeds, for ten weeks.

Was that a difficult time in your life? Not really as I was manic! The food in the hostel was also very good.  When you’re manic you think everything’s great but obviously it isn’t, and you’re ill.

What’s your view on homelessness? Everyone who wants to should have somewhere to live. I think it’s absurd that allegedly Theresa May paid £900 for a pair of leather trousers when some people haven’t even got a home.

Have you travelled around much? For years I had little or no money as I was unable to work through illness – so holidays were out of the question. Then when DLA (Disability Living Allowance) was introduced, this meant I had more money and could gradually save to go on holiday once more. DLA gave people a bit of dignity and enabled them to pay their own way a little more.

Have you been anywhere that you particularly liked? Yes I liked visiting Nevis where Brenda comes from and I found spending two weeks in the Bronx, in New York, interesting.

Did you like New York? It was okay but I prefer somewhere less busy. In fact, I prefer Halifax to what I’ve seen of New York as it is more of a community.

Are there any particular areas you would like to include in the magazine? Yes, sport and music. I would also like to include reviews of films, books and albums etc.

So can anyone contribute anything to the magazine? Yes, within reason. You can send things to: deancharltonmag@gmail.com
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Have you interviewed any people from homeless charities? Yes. I interviewed someone from SMARTMOVE in Halifax – and also a Big Issue vendor.

Do you have any other interests? I’m interested in foreign languages. I like rugby league and football – but not the wages! Me and Brenda really like socialising and it is an important part of doing a magazine as it always needs new blood to survive and flourish.

The main thing for me is to stay well and function in a positive way.

COMMUNICATION/LANGUAGE

Written by Michael Blackburn

‘Communications’: Rock Carvings, Cave Paintings, Beacons, Carrier Pigeons, American Indian Smoke Signals, Hieroglyphs, Writing, Sign Language, and Postal Services – the list goes on and on. For this article, to keep things simple, I’m going to concentrate on ‘Language’: It is well established that Homo sapiens came from Africa. As their brains grew larger the early people were able to think, remember and decide.

How did language commence? It commenced between 30,000 and 100,000 years ago probably with grunts, facial expressions and arm movements. The need for warnings when hunting meant a better way was required and it wouldn’t have taken long for words to replace the grunts. Animals would be named especially those which were being hunted.

Homo sapiens gave themselves names and that would have led to the creation of tribal leaders. They would need to inform each other about poisonous plants and weather conditions. It is likely that they would make the sound of animals to indicate where to hunt. Slowly a language would evolve.

But as people spread throughout the world they made their own languages. There are said to be 5,000 languages spoken in the world today. Great Britain has seventeen languages though some are close to extinction. Languages are always evolving which is shown by dictionaries which are frequently adding new words. I was recently in a cafe and couldn’t help overhearing three young girls talking. They were speaking English but the way they clipped their words; im for him, er for her, ot for what, ye for yes etc, etc. made it impossible to know what they talking about. They weren’t intending to confuse – it was just their normal way of talking. Is this how new languages start?

Then there are the new-world style speakers who understand each other but whose language is a mystery to anyone else. That is proof that language is always evolving. There is an added complication due to the fact that our species of Homo sapiens is not the only species which ever existed as there were the Neanderthals and the Denisovans. Both eventually died out but not before interbreeding took place between them and Homo sapiens. So our DNA may contain their DNA. Recently a third species may have been discovered, as yet unnamed, which, if proved true then inbreeding will add to the mix. These separate species will have had their own languages which could have affected the way we now talk.

Some time ago I was walking through Halifax Borough Market when I heard a lady say to a flower stall holder “you ain’t got no petunias have you?” We know what she meant but why did she have to use negatives? By coincidence shortly afterwards I was walking through a toy stall and heard a mother say to a young boy “I haven’t got no pennies for no toys”. Why the negatives? But it is in this way that languages change. An interesting exercise is to sit on a seat on Southgate and listen to the conversations of passers-byes. What you are hearing is language evolving. Depending on your age, and the way you were taught English at school you will have to interpret the change which is taking place.

One thing I have noticed is the way friends are spoken of. My understanding is that we should put our friends first: hence “My friend and I” but this has become “Me and my friend” that I find strange to hear and even impolite. But it is now the new convention and I must get used to it.

When we look back at pictures of Halifax a hundred years ago we see the changes which have taken place in the way they dressed. I suspect that if we could hear them talk we would find differences in speech. Fifty years from now people will look back on us in the same way. Things are always evolving nothing stands still.

ANY SUFFICIENTLY ADVANCED 
MONETARY POLICY IS INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM MAGICWritten by Simon MinichOne thing I like to ask people is how new money is made. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no economist or financial whizz kid; I’m a computer programmer working for a small company in the north of England. So … how is new money made?Most people think that this is a process of the central bank (In the UK, the Bank Of England) ordering some more paper (or plastic if they’re printing fivers), firing up the press and printing more. Then they’d issue these new shiny notes to the banks so we can then take them out of the ATM.I suppose that in some ways this is a very nostalgic way of looking at things and if it were the case then maybe the economy would not be in the position it faces at the moment. Unfortunately it’s also very wrong.Henry Ford is claimed to have said “It’s well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning”. I believe he was right.So … how is new money made!! Well, in order to understand this you’ll need to understand that there are two types of money (most people don’t know that either). Firstly there is currency, the good old pound in your pocket and secondly there are bank deposits. Bank deposits are created when a bank makes a loan (for instance a mortgage loan). The total of bank deposits and currency equals the sum total of all money in circulation. Notice how I used the word “created”? The money for a bank deposit (or bank loan) literally is created at the point of the loan being approved. Currently only 3% (yes, three percent) of all money is in currency, the remaining 97% is bank deposits.

Hold on, it sounds like I’m saying that the banks just invent money to lend to people … I am. Banks lend money to people based on a fraction of their reserve holdings; this is known as fractional reserve banking. The theory goes like this … if there is a 5% fractional reserve lending limit in place, then for every £20 the bank lends it would have to hold £1 in reserve. The concept of fractional reserve lending is fundamental to the banking industry as it provides them with a means to earn money (every £1 in reserve can earn £19 in repaid loans) and pay interest on savings.

Currently in the UK there is no minimum reserve. The only thing holding this whole circus in the air is that we all do not want our money at the same time; this is the underlying principle holding our entire economy together.

www.bankofengland.co.uk/publications/Documents/quarterlybulletin/2014/qb14q102.pdf

Baath or Coconut Semolina Cake

Ingredients:

125g semolina
125g desiccated coconut
125g butter, vegan spread or coconut oil
150g sugar
1/2 cup water
3 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon baking powder

Method:

Measure out and tip into a saucepan the first five ingredients. Cook over a medium heat allowing the butter and sugar to melt and dissolve. Continue to cook stirring often now as the semolina and coconut absorb the liquid and thicken and begin to come together and leave the sides of the pan as you stir constantly by this stage to prevent scorching. Remove from the heat and set aside to cool completely.

Preheat the oven to 180*C.

Break the eggs into a bowl and beat till frothy. Incorporate this into the cooled semolina along with the vanilla and baking powder, mixing well. Pour into an 8 or 9 inch square baking pan lined with baking parchment. Level the batter and put the pan in the oven to bake for 45 minutes to an hour depending on the size of the pan. Bake till golden and a skewer or cocktail stick pierced into the centre of the cake comes out clean.

Allow to cool completely before cutting.

Enjoy with a cup of chai 🙂

LETTERS PAGE

Dear Editor

I am writing in to say how much I despise really rich people who will not part with a cent to help other people – even though they have clearly abused and exploited nicer people to be in the position they are in. It is true that those with the least often give the most.
It all makes you wonder if there’s a God when greedy, selfish people control the world and many people have little – if anything.Sarah Davis, Brighton

Dear Editor

Does anyone else wonder how religious people, who refuse to use contraception, sleep on a night? – This is a ridiculous situation in the twenty first century and just shows how brainwashed these people really are.
I believe the world would be a better and more peaceful place without religion.Kevin Brown, Northampton

Dear Editor

Some people criticise British men for going to places like the Philippines and Thailand in order to find themselves a young, attractive bride. I don’t think there is anything wrong with this as the man gets a nice bride (that they may be unable to get in Britain) and the woman is taken away from crushing poverty and given a sense of security.Whose business is it anyway what two consulting adults choose to do?Frank Wright, London

Dear Editor

Can I just say how much my faith has helped me through some extremely difficult periods in my life. I have often asked God for help, and although it’s not always come when I wanted it to, it has come when I needed it most.Janice James, Manchester

Dear Editor

I am a lesbian and though I do not shout it from the rooftops, I am what I am.
Someone once asked me how being gay fits in the with the idea of sex being for reproduction, to which I replied that I don’t really know and do not ponder it.Maria Hartley, London

Dear Editor

I think there should be much stiffer penalties for people found driving around without insurance and often without even a valid driving licence. I am fed up of hearing of people who get what amounts to a slap on the wrist, for putting their own and other people’s lives at risk – without  insurance to cover them! How selfish can one get?

Tony Roberts, Leeds

TAROT IS AN AMAZING TOOL

Written by Robert A Williams

Tarot has some serious historical significance. The Modern Deck had its origins in the Western world in the 14th Century in the Mediterranean areas of Florence and Marseilles. Marseilles type Tarot decks are decks that lack embellishment in terms of pictorial representations in the Minor Arcana and any embellishment are focused on the cards of the Major Arcana. Some Tarot historians point to an even earlier starting point for the Tarot in early Egypt and certainly there are signs of Egyptian Symbology that carries through into modern day decks.

The cards work because they have a resonance with the other energies surrounding a human life. These energies are too complex to delve into in this article, suffice to say they are there and discussed in many ways through more traditional spiritual routes.

A card reader is usually, if genuine, a person with great intuition and insight and a realisation that life itself can change in any moment. That there is not really any future as such, there is just now, there is just this.

The Tarot cards when used correctly can help with aiding you in difficult life decisions, can point to your more spiritual side and demonstrate what it is that may be holding you back from your soul purpose. They can enable you to find an easier path through difficult times in your life and in some more progressive institutions are used to help with business decision making.

It is the use of the Tarot by Occult orders in the more recent past that has seen a lot of Tarot bad press; it is seen sometimes as the antithesis of Christianity, though this sort of duality is not the true nature of existence. As such many myths have grown up around some of the cards and some cards are thought to foretell a negative outcome, for instance, card 13 of the Major Arcana, Death. This is a great card to draw as it demonstrates the end of something, often a stuck or negative pattern.

AE Waite said this about the Tarot: “The tarot embodies symbolical presentations of universal ideas, behind which lie all the implicits of the human mind, and it is in this sense that they contain secret doctrine, which is the realization by the few of truths imbedded in the consciousness of all, though they have not passed into express recognition by ordinary men.” ~AE Waite, pictorial key, pg.29

This means in a nutshell that certain folk like me have insights and uses for Tarot that others in general may miss due to lack of knowledge or awareness.

One of the most accurate Tarot readers I have met face-to-face works from a strange vantage point; he has an old Gypsy Caravan perched on Brighton pier in Sussex. He charges £15 or £25 for a reading and I had one with him on Tuesday 30th May, 2017. His name is Ivor and he calls himself a Tarot Consultant. The Rider-Waite deck he uses is dog-eared and tattered. The cards so well used that there is some surprise that many of them are still in one piece. My reading yesterday was pretty amazing in many ways for the path I am treading this lifetime. It illustrated where I am sticking in my own thinking and reactions to situations and illustrated potential good times ahead. In fact the whole reading ended with my favourite card the Fool, Card 0.

The Fool Card 0 is one of the most important in the deck; it signifies a major shift and self-realisation. A beginning and ending. All are encompassed in the Fool Card, being numerically 0 is significant too and numerology has its part to play within Tarot as well.

So I have shown in this short article the benefits of Tarot reading and using the Tarot.
Robert is developing a Tarot website and if you want to be kept up to date with what is happening please visit Tarot Today

ARMY TALES

Written by Andrew Wilkinson

December 1957. Tonfanau, North Wales. Starting national service miles away from home and feeling a little homesick surrounded by strangers – all young, healthy and in the same predicament – large, small, sad and pretending to be grown up, being ordered around; being marched around, marched up and down, cursed and criticised in an attempt to mould us into a unit of non-thinking nameless soldiers – a good cross-section of British youth prepared to fight and die for Queen and country.

Thus began our bleak start of a two year khaki wearing, polished boot marching and a confused vision of the future. It seemed a life time.

Slowly we adapted to this weird, unnatural lifestyle, learning to react like Pavlov dogs to shouted orders without question and a kind of brotherhood began to grow.

Our first go at guard duty soon began and we were given two hour stints to do – mine fell on the two till four AM. I was marched down the road in the freezing cold and darkness till we came to a small sentry box where a bored but relieved young man passed over his weapon, a pick handle and a small torch and was marched quickly and gladly back to the billet.

Here I was then, alone and cold in a strange place with not a soul in sight. I sat on the wooden shelf in the sentry box feeling sorry for myself, in the middle of the night.

Taking out my little torch I began to examine my new world, it was about eight feet tall with two sides, a back and a pointed wooden roof – the only sound a wind blowing from the mountains.

A light bulb hung from the roof but I could find no switch so I shone the torch onto the wire and followed it down to a circular junction box about a foot down from the floor, the lid held on by a screw in the centre.
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I went through my pockets and found a sixpence which fitted into the screw’s groove and with a bit of a struggle it slowly came undone. I took off the plastic cover and inside was a folded piece of paper – some previous equally bored soldier must have left a message which I carefully unfolded and inside it said: “Put it back you nosey bastard”.

STEPHEN ROBERTS TALKS ABOUT BEING A FIREFIGHTER

When did you join the Fire Service? I joined West Yorkshire Fire Service on the 7th of January 2002.What attracted you to the job initially? I didn’t have a particular interest in the fire service. I was in the local working men’s club one evening when I saw that they were recruiting. That was the first time I had considered it. I suppose the main attraction is being able to help people. Luckily, I managed to get in first time.Did you need any particular qualifications to join the Fire Service? There were no formal qualifications required at the time I joined. However, there were maths and English tests that you had to pass before you could go to the next stage of the recruitment process.What did you do before becoming a fire-fighter? Before becoming a fire-fighter I had a few different jobs. I used to have a Saturday job as a butcher, after leaving school I worked for Halifax bank in insurance and a financial company doing debt recovery.What does your current job involve? As a fire-fighter, you are trained to deal with numerous types of incidents. Obviously, most people think of us putting out fires, however, we also deal with road traffic collisions, rope rescues, water rescues, chemical incidents and all sorts of incidents where people or animals may need rescuing or where there is a need to protect the environment.What is a typical day on the job like? On a day shift, starting at 08:00 and finishing at 19:00 we would start by doing our checks. This involves making sure all our equipment is present and working correctly, for example, our breathing apparatus and the fire appliance.We would then spend up to an hour in the gym (as being physically fit is an important part of being able to do the job of a fire-fighter). After that we will have a short break before beginning a training session – this could be training on particular equipment or practicing various scenarios. Before lunch we will organise our work for the afternoon.

The afternoons work involves working in the community, we will fit smoke alarms and give fire safety advice to people in their homes, inspect commercial premises to ensure they are complying with fire safety regulations and we will go into schools to give talks to children.

Of course, we are available for fire calls at any time therefore all other work is secondary to our primary purpose of providing an immediate response to emergencies.

How do you think the government cuts have affected the Fire Service? As with all cuts there is going to be a reduction in the standard of service that can be provided. In my opinion it has led to increased response times and the cuts to our prevention departments, as well as frontline fire-fighters, and it can be argued to have led to a recent increase in fires and fire-related injuries and deaths.

Although it is not the worst paid job in the world, due to the cuts fire-fighters have been subject to pay freezes and caps for a number of years now. This has led to an effective pay reduction when you take inflation to account. Contrary to the belief of some, we don’t get paid any extra for working anti-social hours (nights and weekends) like some others in the public and private sector. In terms of risks, we work to procedures designed to keep us as safe as possible when attending emergency incidents, however, due to the nature of these incidents you cannot always predict everything that may happen therefore risks are always there.

What does your wife think of you doing the job you do?  I think my wife is proud of what I do, as am I of what she does. I hope she doesn’t worry too much.

Whole Orange Cake
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Ingredients:               1 small orange
10 oz self-raising flour
3 level tsps. baking powder
10 oz caster sugar
8 oz softened butter
4 eggs
1 tspn cinnamon
1 tspn mixed spiceDrizzle:                      2 oz soft butter
6 oz icing sugar
2 tspn orange juice left over from orange
Drizzle oven cakeMethod:                    Gas mark 4. Grease two sandwich tins. Place orange in pan of water
and simmer until soft for 20 mins. Cool. Put in processor, cut into
chunks. Pulp but not too fine.
Add remaining ingredients and blend until smooth. Divide between
tins and bake for 20 – 30 mins until firm to touch.
Put drizzle over the cakes.Medieval Orange Cake Ingredients:               8 soup spoons of softened butter
1 cup sugar
2 beaten eggs
12/3 cups of flour
1 tspn of salt
1 cup of buttermilk
1 cup of raisins
1 soup spoon of orange peelIcing:                         2 soup spoons of orange juice
2 cups of icing sugarMethod:                     Blend sugar and butter together. Add beaten eggs, flour, baking
powder and salt. Add buttermilk, raisins and orange peel to the
mixture. Bake for 45 – 40 mins on gas mark 4. Pour well-mixed icing
sugar and orange juice over the cooked cake.

TROUBLE AT THE PTA
Submitted by Michael Blackburn

I can’t stand Joe Snydale. Just because he runs a big car he thinks he can run everything else as well. He’s been a member of the PTA for only five years (that’s two less than me, mind you) but he’s been chosen as a Secretary, Treasurer, on the Council and currently he’s in charge of fund raising. A very greedy man I think. What annoys me about the latter job is that everyone thinks he’s doing a good job just because there’s plenty of money coming in. I mean there’s more to it than that, surely. Anyway why should Joe Snydale get all these jobs?Two more parents like him and we wouldn’t need anyone else. It’s not that I’m jealous, of course. I mean with the best will in the world there’s a limit to what one man can do and I’ve been pretty full up since I got on the dominoes team at The Lion. But still it would have been nice to have been asked.You know in the first few years after joining the PTA (two years before Joe Snydale) I was often asked to take on jobs. I had to turn them down, of course (a man in my position can’t afford to get too tied down in detail and I’ve always believed in delegation) but at least I was asked. I must have turned down nearly every job in the school in my time. But since Joe Snydale started hogging all the jobs I haven’t even been asked. Anyone would think the school didn’t want me in a job. I’m just waiting for Joe Snydale to be chosen PTA Chairman, and then I’ll have something to say.I was on the School Committee for a time, you know, and I attended pretty regularly, well as regularly as I could considering my other commitments. It was at the time that I took up darts on medical advice (my doctor told me I should get out more) and that kept me pretty busy. (We have to play away matches, you know. And once you’ve joined a team you can’t afford to let them down.)
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When I happened to miss an odd meeting (it might have been one or two, I didn’t count) Joe Snydale phones and says he’ll pick me up, as he has to pass my place, and take me to the meeting. Sarcasm, I called it. I told him I was quite capable of finding my own way to the Wednesday meeting. All I got was more sarcasm. Meetings hadn’t been on Wednesdays for two years, he said. Now, to crown it all, he’s set himself up as Magazine Editor. Fat chance anyone else would get of being Magazine Editor when Joe Snydale has the job lined up for himself. And do you know what he had the cheek to ask me? He’d be honoured, he said  if I’d write a piece for him to put in the Magazine. I enjoyed my dignified refusal. No good buttering up to me after years of insults. Write your own blooming Magazine and show yourself up for the ignoramus you are, I told him. Of course, I didn’t tell him to his face, but I made sure everyone in the Committee knew. I can’t stand Joe Snydale.​

A MORNING PRAYER

Dear Lord
So far today, I am doing
alright, I have not
gossiped, lost my temper,
been greedy, grumpy, nasty,
selfish, or over-indulgent.
However I am going to get
out of bed in a
few minutes,
and I will need a lot of help after that.
Amen.

MELVYN CHARLTON’S DESERT ISLAND DISCS

Songs:

Stranger in Paradise (Tony Bennet)

This brings back memories of my first girl friend when I was around 16 years old.

A Certain Smile (Johnny Mathis)

Just about a perfect record.

Rip It Up (Little Richard)

One of the fabulous fifties R&R songs.

A Very Good Year (Frank Sinatra)

He made two versions – it must be the one with the Gordon Jenkins arrangement. First holiday in Mallorca with a group of friends in the sixties.

My One and Only Love (Ella Fitzgerald)

An incredible voice.

Strawberry Fields (Beatles)

A great song and the other side of the disc was ‘Penny Lane’ – double value.

A Kind Of Magic (Queen)

Reminds me of a time at Leeds Polytechnic with lots of young people I liked and who liked me (I think).

Romeo and Juliet (Prokofiev)

Just a superb piece of music.

Book:

The book I would take would be a compilation of stories by John Steinbeck. I once had this book but let someone borrow it and it never came back. Lesson: Don’t lend books.

Luxury Item:

Solar Radio so I can hear people talking.

UNTIL I’M…

Today, Dear Lord, I’m 80
and there’s much I haven’t done.
I hope, Dear Lord, you’ll let me live
until I’m 81.
But if I haven’t finished
all I want to do
Would you let me stay awhile –
until I’m 82?

So many lands to visit,
so very much to see –
Do you think you could manage
to make it 83?
The world is changing very fast,
there is so much in store,
I’d like it very much to live
until I’m 84.

And if by then I’m still alive,
I’d like to stay to 85.
There’s more to air travel –
can you fix for me to last until 86?
I know Dear Lord, it’s much to ask
(and it must be nice in heaven)
But I would really like to stay
until I’m 87.

I know by then I won’t move fast
and sometimes will be late.
But it would be so pleasant
to be around at 88.
I will have seen so many things
and had a lovely time.
So I’m sure that I’ll be willing
to leave at 89.

(Source unknown)

STORIES OF ANSWERED PRAYERS

Leonard Cheshire

In the early days of his work for the disabled Leonard Cheshire was £7,000 in debt. Unless the money came from somewhere quickly then his attempt to help the disabled would collapse. Leonard Cheshire had learnt to ‘trust’ and left the matter in God’s safe hands. One morning, soon after the problem arose, he opened an envelope and there was a cheque for £7,000 which he had no idea was on its way to him.

Cecil Humphery-Smith

Cecil was a friend of the stigmatist, Padre Pio, who relied on his help during difficult times. Sometime after Padre Pio’s death Cecil got into financial difficulties. One morning he opened a letter. It was from the Bank telling him that he owed them £1,459.17.6d. (It was in the days of old money.)  If he didn’t pay up at once they would close his account and take the necessary steps to obtain the money from his assets.  He was devastated. He had no way of paying the debt. He carried on opening the mail. (I have heard him tell this story and at this point he always says “You don’t have to believe this but it is true!”) The very next envelope he opened contained a cheque made out to him for £1,459.17.6d! He didn’t even know the lady who had sent it. It was only years later that he met her. She had received a dividend on some shares and because she had heard of the work which Cecil was a doing in promoting Padre Pio she had decided to send it to him. But – just the same amount – to the very penny! The hand of God was at work.

Mother Teresa

One of the sisters in charge of the kitchens in one of their Homes for the sick in India came to Mother Teresa and said “Mother we have no bread.” Mother Teresa trusted in God and asked him for help. A short time later a large van pulled up full of bread! It was the van which went around delivering to all the schools. But that day, for some unknown reason, all the schools were closed but no-one had advised the bread supplier. So instead of wasting it the bread they brought it all to Mother Teresa’s home for the sick.

Denis Nolan

Denis was supplying some religious tapes to a TV station but knew that they would only accept them on payment of $5,000. He hadn’t got that sort of money but encouraged by his wife, who had prayed, he sent off the tapes with his personal cheque for $5,000 but with no money in his account to back up the cheque!

Meanwhile over on the West Coast of USA a woman was praying. She was praying for the salvation of souls when suddenly into her head came the words “Send Denis Nolan $5,000!” She ignored the words and kept on praying. But the words came back again “Send Denis Nolan $5,000!” Once again she ignored it. But when it happened a third time she said “O.K Lord!”
Denis Nolan received the cheque in time for it to clear his bank before his cheque was presented.

ANOTHER FUN QUIZ FROM THE HORSE’S MOUTH

Questions:

(1)   What is the official currency of Russia?
(2)   Who now owns LAND ROVER?
(3)   Who played the main role in the film ‘Tootsie?’
(4)   What was David Bowie’s final album called?
(5)   Kingston is the capital of which Caribbean island?
(6)   What is a ‘Zahnarzt’ in Germany?
(7)   What is the speed limit on a British motorway?
(8)   Who plays ‘Paddy’ in the soap Emmerdale?
(9)   What is Prince William’s first child called?
(10) Which philosopher wrote the book ‘The Stranger/The Outsider’?
(11) What is the capital of the EU?
(12) What is Elvis Presley’s full name?
(13)  Is ‘Muscadet’ a white or red wine?
(14) Who played the main female role in the film ‘Titanic?’
(15) With which club did Alan Shearer win the Premiership?
(16) Who is now the President of the USA?
(17) Who was the last pope?
(18) What animal is a ‘chat’ in English?
(19) What is the capital of Wales?
(20) Where is JFK situated?

Answers:

Russian Ruble (2) Tata Motors (India) (3) Dustin Hoffman (4) Blackstar (5) Jamaica (6) a dentist (7) 70 mph (8) Dominic Brunt (9) Prince George (10) Albert Camus (11) Brussels (12) Elvis Aaron Presley (13) a white French wine (14) Kate Winslet (15) Blackburn Rovers (16) Donald Trump (17) Pope Benedict (18) a cat (19) Cardiff (20) New York

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Editor’s Final Word: Thank you so much for taking time to read this edition of From The Horse’s Mouth. In the next edition Brenda Condoll will tell you about our recent trip to Krakow, Poland. Remember you can be part of the magazine by sending us stuff at: deancharltonmag@gmail.com   Also if you have any ideas how we could improve this publication, please let us know. Best Wishes, Dean.