“My script’s gone missing!” My partner Jed announced, as he joined me and some of the cast at a table in the TV studio canteen. Jed and I were part of the highly popular Yorkshire set soap ‘Folk Like Us.’
I played a shop assistant, sweet-natured, kind Emily, an unlucky in love day dreamer. With plaited hair, she favoured layered, floral clothes.
“Well, you need to find it lad,” Bernard said, who played eccentric old-timer Clem. “Or else you won’t know your words. In this day and age, you can’t expect the crew to hold up boards for you.”
I shuddered…. in the old days, behind the cameras, TV crews used to hold boards up. these were sometimes used for actors and actresses who couldn’t (or wouldn’t) learn their lines.
I cut in quickly. “No. You’re perfectly right, Bernard. We can’t go back to those days, certainly not in 2026. Don’t worry, Jed. We’ll nip up to the production office later and copy another script.”
Jed smiled and took my hand. “Thanks Hattie. You’re a star!”
The missing script was one in a long line of mishaps. A while ago, Clem’s white ‘wild man’ wig had gone walkabout. Bernard had got into a sour tizz over it. It had held up production, which cost money… his wig was found later, stuffed at the bottom of the old tub in the wardrobe department.
Who had taken it and why had it been hidden? The second incident involved a pub table. It had had mysteriously wobbled, making a drink slide off and smash on the floor. It went on… the make- up girl had sprained her ankle, and I’d experienced problems operating the cash till on the grocery store set.
“It’s all down to the ghost of old Kitty,” Bernard had chuckled.
Was it? Kitty had been an original cast member of the soap. Like Bernard, she’d been in the soap for over thirty-five years. Her character, a battle-axe with a heart of gold, had run the local boozer. When ill health forced Kitty into retirement, the landlady was given the chop. Yet Kitty had felt stung about her character’s exit. Instead of her favoured gentle ‘forever sleep’ in her armchair, the production and scriptwriting team had opted for a cruel car accident. When Kitty passed away off camera, her avenging ghost was supposed to haunt the set. Was her ghost responsible for the accidents – or was there another party at work?
Six months ago, newcomer Jed had been brought in to play a hunky, heart-throb builder, Dale. We all thought he wouldn’t last two minutes, because Jed wasn’t an experienced actor. A male model, he was actually the producer’s boyfriend. To everyone’s surprise, we discovered that Jed had a natural acting ability.
But once he was cosy installed, he’d split with our bossy producer Sally. When Jed and I got together and fell in love, these rumours intensified. The gossip circulated about killing off Dale… we all feared the ‘killing off’ rumours. TV soap producers love the media rumours – it leads to higher ratings!
Was my character – caring, friendly shop assistant Emily going to be exited instead?
“I just can’t see it happening, Hattie,” Bernard said when I’d voiced my concerns. “The viewers love Emily.”
I knew that, yet… Sally was professional and level- headed, but she was also human, and hadn’t liked Jed ending their romance. My mind wandered to Bernard…
Bernard’s current storyline involved a middle-aged woman turning up at Clem’s scruffy cottage door, claiming she was the result of a fling he’d had with a recently deceased married woman character. The plot went like this: Clem recalled the affair… but there’d been no baby. So, would ‘tough as boots’ Clem finally soften towards his only child? Or… was this stranger simply posing as his long-lost daughter, but really planning to con him out of his life savings? That’s the question that’s being asked of our loyal viewers. Bernard, of course, knew the outcome. The cast and crew did, too. Yet we were sworn to secrecy. Sally had warned us no -one wanted to see any ‘spoiler alerts’ splashed across the media!
“You don’t think these shenanigans are down to Sally, do you?” Jed asked me at home.
I shrugged. “Bernard swears it’s Kitty’s ghost at play. But like you Jed, I’m not sure.”
He frowned. “But why would Sally sabotage the show? She’s really proud of it.”
I took a moment to consider. “Well, it’d be to make us understand that she’s in charge. I expect the break up has weakened her emotionally. She feels vulnerable and needs to feel strong again.”
He grinned. “That sounds just like a revenge soap story!”
“Does it? Well, when I asked the make- up girl about her sprain today, she was very vague.”
“Right.” He had a distant look on his face.
I’d noticed that his attention had wandered over the past few weeks. I’d put it down to general stress of the job. I snuggled up to him on the sofa as I switched on the TV. We didn’t watch ourselves. We liked a rival soap, broadcast on another channel.
“I’ve had a word with Sally. She claims these mishaps have nothing to do with her, or Kitty’s ghost.
‘These things happen’, she said – and I believe her,” Jed reported to me at wardrobe the next morning.
“Oh. I thought last night’s conversation was just between us.” I felt disappointed that he’d gone running to Sally without discussing it with me.
“It was, but I wanted to get this sorted. We’re all on edge, and that affects our performance.”
I mulled it over as I finished buttoning one of Emily’s signature floral blouses.
I turned to him. “You’re right – and Sally’s right, too. She’s a mature, successful woman, not a ditzy teenager. Someone in the wardrobe department could easily have mislaid Bernard’s wig. The pub table, the cash till, your missing script and the sprained ankle aren’t anything to get worked up about. Let’s forget about it all – and those silly rumours too.”
He nodded. “You’ve probably sensed that I’ve been distant recently. So, I’ll tell you my news now, instead of later.”
My heart lurched. Was he ditching me to reunite with Sally?
“What news?”
“It’s supposed to be top secret, but I’m leaving to join the rival soap.”
I gasped. “What?”
“They’ve head-hunted me. I don’t even need to audition. But I want you to come with me, Hattie. They can create a new, major role for you. Please say yes!”
My mind whirled. Yet I’d be glad to leave ‘Folk Like Us.’ I needed a fresh start.
“Yes!”
Jed picked me up in delight and swung me around. But before we could talk about our plans, Bernard flew in, clutching a script. “My storyline’s been changed! Clem’s going to be murdered by his daughter!”
