Every great warrior has a nemesis, and for Milo, it doesn’t live in the backyard or down the street. It lives in the hallway cupboard. It is tall, it has a long, winding neck, and it speaks in a terrifying, deafening roar. To the humans, it is just the vacuum cleaner. But to Milo, it is the Great Roaring Beast of the Living Room, and it must be stopped.
The battle always begins with a warning click. The moment the cupboard door swings open, Milo’s ears go up like two radar dishes. He instantly abandons his sunny nap spot on the rug and retreats to a safe tactical distance—usually behind the legs of the dining room chair. From there, he watches with narrow, calculating eyes as the beast is dragged into the centre of his kingdom.
Then, the cord is pulled, the switch is flipped, and the beast comes alive. WUUUUURRRRR!
Milo springs into action. He doesn’t run away; he circles the perimeter, his tiny paws dancing a fierce war-dance on the carpet. As the vacuum moves back and forth, Milo moves with it, matching it step for step. He lets out a barrage of fierce, rapid-fire barks, firmly telling the monster exactly who rules this house.
In Milo’s mind, he is a legendary dragon-slayer, dodging the giant rolling wheels and protecting the living room rug from total destruction. Every time the vacuum comes too close, he lunges forward with a brave “yap!”, only to smartly skip backward just out of reach.
After a gruelling ten minutes of intense psychological warfare, the human finally flips the switch off. The roaring monster groans, winds down, and goes completely silent.
Milo stands perfectly still, panting heavily, watching it to make sure it’s truly defeated. Satisfied that he has saved the household once again, he steps up to the motionless machine, sniffs the wheel once to claim his victory, and walks away with a proud, high-stepping strut.
Defeating a giant plastic monster is hard work. Milo immediately marches to the kitchen, demanding a handful of crunchy biscuits to replenish his warrior energy, before returning to his freshly vacuumed rug for a well-earned victory snooze.