Scorpio 24 Oct – 22 Nov
Some bad news will leave you reeling and wishing you had taken the advice of an elderly friend. You spend far too much time communicating with your bookmaker whilst your partner is unsure of the odds of being able to pay your bills this month. Doubt may be present in your mind but keep going through the mists of confusion and everything will turn out fine. Try to work more.
Sagittarius 23 Nov – 21 Dec
If you don’t change how you think, soon you will be the architect of your own downfall and your dreams will all end up in tatters. A lot of paper notes are coming your way and this will be music to your ears. You may start to appreciate your good health more when you come across someone with real medical problems. It’s time you shaped up and hated others less.
Capricorn 22 Dec – 20 Jan
A vision of an old dead friend will appear in a dream, reading poetry, and direct you how to be the captain of your destiny. If you wake up next to a stranger, then maybe take more water with your drink and don’t allow yourself to be whisked off by some smooth-talking loser. However, if you’re in relationship, strengthen your alliance by putting a ring on their finger.
Aquarius 21 Jan – 19 Feb
Keep more abreast of current affairs in your life, and stop letting people milk your generous nature. You cannot just give all the time. Spring is nearly here and more things will seem possible. Do stop judging others who are less able than yourself though. Accept that the beautiful woman with speckles will probably never spot you in the crowd, so, do stand out.
Pisces 20 Feb – 20 Mar
It’s now time to end a relationship that is sinking fast. However, you will be forever single if you don’t do something about your horrid breath. Don’t do anything rash just because money is short, as good, financial fortune will soon spread your way. Someone who you think is a geek will help you in a very big way this month, and change your incorrect view of them.
Aries 21 Mar – 20 Apr
You spend money as if there’s no tomorrow – and maybe there isn’t? We are all in jail on this planet, but it’s a good jail and we are free to look after it better if we choose to – so start now! A man may hit you with his handbag if you question his sexuality. A woman who gobbles her food like a demented pig may invite you to go on holiday with her to Turkey. Buy a new wig.
Taurus 21 Apr – 21 May
A pip may nearly choke you this month, but it’s not surprising as life has thrown you many bitter lemons recently. You will learn of the death of someone who used to make lovely stained-glass windows and you will wonder if he is now repairing churches in heaven? You’re considered to be very weird by others, but at least you’re an original individual.
Gemini 22 May – 21 Jun
A tongue-lashing from a loved one will make you see things differently. Also, a friend will disappoint you with his lack of loyalty when the chips are down. It is time you tried to do something that satisfies your creative side and refrain from being a passenger in life. You may fall in love with a queen, but quickly realise, that they will only ever see you as a prince.
Cancer 22 Jun – 23 Jul
Now is the time to start to relax more as you have worked very hard in life. But frankly, although you may have acted out of your skin in life’s play, and sung your heart out, you may never make it to Hollywood and have to settle for a week in Benidorm. Your dandruff is still a problem, but don’t worry, as only flaky people will turn their back on you. You are nice.
Leo 24 Jul – 23 Aug
You tend to approach new relationships like a bull in a china shop, but this time, proceed carefully – and leave room for disappointment. Also, you normally set your goals at an unrealistically high level, so, do remember that you’re no supermodel. If you’re feeling a bit insecure, you’re not alone, and carry on the best you can. A good time to make a chastity belt.
Virgo 24 Aug – 23 Sep
You are short of confidence at the moment and quick to put yourself down, but your luck is about to change for the better – if you wait. If you like clothes, wear whatever you want now, for in the end, we will all end up in a wooden overcoat. Life may be punctuated by good and bad events though we all need to acknowledge that, whatever happens, it is not fair at all.
Libra 24 Sep – 23 Oct
We may all be prostitutes at the end of the day, but at least we all have our bubble in which we can be ourselves – if only for a short while. Over the years, you have built walls around yourself for protection, but these have become your prison, and you need to change. It is a good time to book a holiday to the Norfolk Broads. Let your hair down and be yourself!
